would most likely call what i am feeling “post-partum depression”, and indeed i am somewhat depressed this afternoon. some of it can be blamed on the weather– it has been doom and gloom for a few days on the island, thunder-boomers everywhere, the early hours dark enough to be night, punctuated by the sharp pocketa-pocketa of approaching rain and then the gargoyles of heaven sluice down a heavy pounding– hard to just call it “rain”, as the streets are quickly alive with gushing tendons of water. it all happens as quickly as this run-on sentence you just read.“down in the black gang” is how i have described my feelings the last couple of weeks– i have felt like one of those guys shovelling coal into the flaming maw of a ship’s boiler, oily skin covered with a thick layer the color of jet. the weather has been hot and dense and slippery with sweat, making the wearing of clothes uncomfortable and itchy. after my morning walkabout, sometimes dancing between the raindrops to avoid becoming drenched, i have been mostly trapped inside my house, painting. painting painting painting painting painting painting painting. that or staring at the painting. glaring at the painting. then back to it for a while and then looking at it once again, trying to assess just how much good i was doing. but somewhere in there the magic slowly slid in– it began when i figured out just how the shadow from the awning above the triciclo fell on the ground, and suddenly i was right down into it again, after so damn long– i was once more confident, and the inner query of “what do i do next?” no longer elicited a cold shiver, but rather i knew what it had to be. that patch of dirt i had finally realised couldn’t be green but brown turned out to include both colors. the faces of the figures in the shadows and light suddenly sprang out, they just had to be that way– and there!! and there!! and– there!! i worked so fast i painted the woman in the foreground’s right arm as sliding behind the triciclo, and as i hurriedly changed it back i found even more depth in the way her body curled and formed the posture. i had thought the tree finished, but i ended up putting in three different colors on the trunk and then two more on the flowers and another couple on the leaves. more color in the grass– a pale whitish green– and the shadow the tree threw down upon it as well.and then, just like one of those flat earth society ships that reaches the end of the map i fell off– the piece had been signed and, for all intents and purposes, finished. after this i noodled around with it some, but since yesterday in the late morning there has been nothing forthcoming. i think i am done. hence my little “down mood” today– well, that and the draggy weather of course. i have yet to take the actual finished shots of the piece, will wait for a few days and especially a little better ambient light, so i can capture it a little bit better.
and then it is on to the next thing i suppose– i have several projects i want to pursue. gotta shoot the pix for the new tiny drumfish design and do the posts, but that will come in time. i have a special order for a clownfish that i have not done, really preparing myself for it. and then there is a grotesque– i spoke of gargoyles up above, and just read a book that involved carving them, or rather, grotesques– apparently it is called a gargoyle only if it is used to conduct and spew water, but i have a hankering to do some stone cutting again, a big yearning. first, i suppose, i need some stone…….