or as siggy freud might have pondered– “is this just a cigar or what??”– but more on that later.
here’s a picture of my finished painting, which i like a great deal. had an official unveiling to good reviews. BUT!!– being a typical artist, it was on to “the next thing”, as, when something is done i somewhat lose interest in it. some people are adrenaline junkies, i get my kicks by driving myself crazy trying to figure out how to make my new project work.
the first thing i did was to design my t-shirt, something i have wanted to do for quite some time. i originally did a t-shirt design for the anita boat, but it never went over well, and looking back at my old drawings i can see why– the image was nice, however it had not much elan, pizzazz, “pop”, whatever you call it. my new one has some movement and a subtle violence, a threatening element i like quite a bit. the printer did a great job as well– i picked up the finished product about an hour ago, and the printer dude managed to make it look like i have hand-drawn the image on all the t-shirts. now i gotta sell ’em!! any offers out there? $15.
ok, let’s get back to siggy. years ago i had a “relationship”. it didn’t go all that well, and it affected me for many a year. in the late 90s i wanted to give it some sort of a concrete form, that i might rid myself of all the negative energy, and so i did a pen and ink drawing of how i felt about it (back then i worked a lot with pen and ink– dip nib pen, and pointillism, just to drive myself round the bend). this is how i ended up with “natasha”– not her real name, more of a pet name i might call her at times. all good and well. the drawing almost sold on a number of occasions, but never quite, affording me the opportunity to see it over the years, and i have always thought that it would be an interesting subject to paint. and so this became the time. it also makes me wonder if it means anything– am i revisiting my old pain, or is it just another piece of my work?
the honest answer is, i suppose “a little bit of both”– i had to let myself drift back to that time in my life, experience some of the feelings i felt, in order to really give the design a vision. however, i found that it is nowhere near as tender a spot as it once was– i think i’m ok with it. and this gives me the freedom to do something with it, to expand it and make it something somewhat new. the sketch above won’t give you much of an idea, it is like most of my sketches, and doesn’t photograph particularly well. i always muse on how i should invest in some stock from the liquitex company, as i use so much of their titanium white when i sketch.
this is a current shot, taken just this afternoon, and it is still early in the development. most of the paint on the canvas is of my “complementary colors”, most of which won’t be seen in the final stages, just a “flavor”, but i have done a little bit on the hair and lips, the background. i have been telling people that, at this stage, it is looking like a zombie girrrl with animated eyes. don’t worry, it will get better.
time to go to work again, but just had something to say this afternoon…